First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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