He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
