So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
