Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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