Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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