yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
