The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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