This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
