this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So many bounce houses so little time
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
