I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
