dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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