babies were throwing up all over the place
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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