How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
