Pappa wants mamma naked
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
