Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
