how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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