I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
