Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize