I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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