If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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