I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
