i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
