doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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