my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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