I'll bet she douches with gravy.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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