How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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