Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
