thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
try to milk me bitch
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
