I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
