i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
