did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
