dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
