The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
