he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
