He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
