Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
