..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize