Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
