Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
