Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
