just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
