Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
