HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
