She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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