Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so let's talk penis.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
