so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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