Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
