I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
