Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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