guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize