I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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