how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
