He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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