i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
