so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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