why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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