just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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