now i know why i became what i already was.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
