I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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