it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
