I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize