We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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