He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
