Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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