you mean i was at the winter classic?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
