Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize