roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
