so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
