Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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